


Arkham Knight Interlude

by gothamsgaygirlgang



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Batman: Arkham (Video Games), Batman: Arkham - All Media Types
Genre: Banter, Gen, Gotham Rogues - Freeform, arkham knight deleted scenes, what do catwoman and riddler talk about when batman is off being batman
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-10
Updated: 2018-08-10
Packaged: 2019-06-25 10:32:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15638949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gothamsgaygirlgang/pseuds/gothamsgaygirlgang
Summary: Selina is stuck in the orphanage with nothing to do, so she elects to annoy Riddler for something to do





	Arkham Knight Interlude

Selina sat, limbs bound to a chair, blindfold over her eyes and nothing other than the horrible, rotting smell of wood filling her nose. She struggled against the bindings, they were nothing to her. It would take her seconds to free her arms. With an arm loose, she began slashing at the other with her claws when an echoing voice called out. 

“Ah, ah, ah, Catwoman. I need you bound and blindfolded, the perfect damsel in distress for the big brooding dark knight.” His voice grated on Selina’s nerves, his words thick with a gloating tone. An incessant clanking, like metal legs, made it’s way towards her. Something hard, claw like, grabbed her wrist and tied a new knot, putting her back in the situation she started in. 

“Eddie? That you? What am I saying, of course it’s you. No one knows how to aggravate me like you do.” She attempted to keep the anger from her tone.

“It would be in your best interest to remain silent, Catwoman. I have the upper hand in this situation and don’t feel like ruining my plan by blowing off that empty head of yours before Batman arrives.” 

“Blow my head off? That’s not your style, what’s the riddle? What’s black and white and missing a head? I’ve seen you do better.” 

“It’s quite simple really, solve the puzzles, get the keys, unlock the bomb I have strapped to your neck.”

Selina adjusted her head and felt the metal pinch the skin on her neck. So, there really was a bomb around her neck. Or Edward was just messing with her, but lying wasn’t really his style either. 

“So… A bomb, huh? What’s this all about, I haven’t stolen from you in years… That you know about at least.” Though the potential exploding head was worrying her, she knew she was safe for now. He wasn’t going to ruin his plans before Batman arrived. 

“I needed someone he valued to some extent. Capturing you seemed easier than his other two side kicks?” 

“Other sidekicks? You’re implying I’m his sidekick? I thought you were meant to be smart.” She was outraged, unable to hold back treading in dangerous territories with Edward. 

“Oh please, the only difference between you and those other two neanderthals is that you two occasionally engage in a more sexual relationship. At least, I hope that’s the only difference.” He was goading her into a reaction, toying with her for one reason or another. She took a deep breath and gathered her thoughts. She never let him get to her before and she wasn’t about to start now. 

“There’s another difference your omnipotent mind missed, those two will only throw you back in jail, I won’t be so merciful.” She practically purred at the thoughts of slashing his throat. 

“That would involve you escaping from my devilishly devious plot, and I don’t see that happening.” 

“Oh, please Eddie. Batman has beaten you more times than you can count, and you have an eidetic memory. You’re setting yourself up for failure, you know it, I know it. So, you can either let me out of here and I’ll keep the thrashing to a minimum. Or you can prolong this game of cat and mouse, and leave with nothing. Humiliated again by the Batman, thrown in jail and this time with me coming for your neck.” 

“I am not intimidated by you Catwoman,” He began, his words big and brave. He was always like this at the beginning of his plans. “You’re just a two bit petty thief, I hardly had to think about a good way to capture you.” He was right, his past defeats at the hands of the Batman caused Selina to drop her guard around him. She doesn’t remember much, some metal clanking and a blow to the head, then darkness. Her first mistake was agreeing to meet him at his lair, something she had never done before. 

“Petty thief? You paid me 700K for the last job I did for you. If you’re going to insult me at least try to be accurate.” She scoffed. 

“…Quiet! It’s time to send my message to the so called World’s Greatest Detective. We’ll see how great of a detective he is when he fails to solve my riddles and I crush him with my giant mechanical foot!” 

“Oh, Eddie.” Selina sighed. 

***

As the night progressed, Batman solved more and more riddles. Only a few keys were left and Selina could taste the freedom. Though she was worried that everything else occurring outside the walls of the orphanage was exhausting him, possibly leading to a slip up. And one slip up would cost her her head. 

“You know you’re going to lose, right?” Selina said. She lay on one of the many metals plates in the middle of the floor, stretching her limbs and waiting for Batman to come back so they could face the next challenge.

“Quiet, you. I need to concentrate on seeing how he solves this next trial.” He grumbled. 

“Oh good, he’s at the next one. One step closer to getting out of here. By the way Ed, what’s with these idiotic race tracks? What does that have to with testing intelligence? How did you even build all of that? Must’ve cost a lot, huh?” 

“I ask the questions here, or are you trying to steal my schtick?” 

“Being curious is part of my gig too, “curiosity killed the cat”, remember?” 

“True, though that reminds me of the bomb I have strapped to your neck and the trigger I have right next to me.” 

“You used to be more fun, the old Eddie wouldn’t have kidnapped me. Or have built stupid race tracks for that matter. Did you run out of ideas?” 

“My towering intellect knows no end, question it again and I will activate the trigger mechanism which will active my custom designed plastic explosive-“

“Yeah yeah the plastic explosive I got it, your excellence at designing new and exciting ways to kill me is noted.” She replied sarcastically.

Cabinets rose up from the floor, one of which contained another key to unlock the collar. Batman and Catwoman made quick work of the puzzle, much to Riddler’s disappointment. Normally, Selina would hate working with Batman to stop a fellow rogue. But it was in the interest of saving her head, and the fellowship between the rogues had died a long time ago. 

“There are easier ways to impress a man than death traps, robots and riddles, Eddie. Would you like some advice? I’ve got Batman wrapped around my finger.” 

“What are you implying?” He questioned her cautiously. 

“C’mon, I thought you were meant to be smart. I’ll even put it in a riddle for you; What’s green, purple and in love with Batman all over?” 

“I am not.” He cried out, rather childishly. 

“Sure you aren’t, a man who places so much emphasis on intelligence isn’t even a bit excited by someone who manages to beat him in that, as well as every other category? I find that hard to believe.” 

“He is not more intelligent than I am, the only reason he has bested me is because he cheats. And I don’t think it’s healthy for you to project your own insecurities on to me.” He shot back at her, she could sense the rage bubbling up inside him. 

“Me? Project? The only reason I’ve lasted this long is because I am honest with myself. I was just trying to offer some helpful dating advice, I mean the last guy you were with had his face eaten by croc and is now trying to destroy the city. Though if we’re looking for someone who’s not at risk of getting his face eaten by croc then maybe Batman isn’t the best choice…” She laughed to herself, this was really getting on his nerves. She knew she was safe from the explosives because he would have activated it by now. Though she always knew that he would never trigger it on a whim and “cheat”. 

“Batman is outside right now and you will cease this incessant prattle. Bring this up in front of him and you will feel my wrath.” He said ferociously. 

“I’m sure you’d like to make Batman feel your wrath.” She mumbled to herself, eliciting a growl of frustration from Eddie.


End file.
